SHIT HAPPENS

in various world religions
----------------------------

Taoism:        
Shit happens.

Hare Krishna:  
Shit Happens, Rama Rama Ding Ding.

Confucianism:  
Confucious say, "Shit happens".

Buddhism:      
When shit happens, is it really shit?

Hinduism:      
This shit happened before.

Zen:
What really is the sound of shit happening?

Protestantism: 
Shit happens, but as long as you're sorry, it's OK.

Calvinism:     
Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.

Episcopalianism:
If shit happens, hold a procession.

Lutheranism:   
Shit won't happen if I work harder.
Shit happens, but as long as you're sorry, it's OK.

Anglicanism:   
It's true, shit does happen - but only to Lutherans.
                                                          
Catholicism:   
If shit happens, I must have deserved it.

Charismatic Catholicism:
Shit is happening because you deserve it, but we love you anyway.

Judaism:       
Why does shit always happen to us?g the deal?

Reform Judaism:
Got any laxatives?

Islam:
If shit happens, take a hostage.

Nation of Islam:
Don't take no shit!

New Age:       
For $300, we can help you get in touch with your inner shit.

Wicca:         
If shit happened once, it will happen twice more.

Jehovah's Witnesses:
Knock Knock, "Shit Happens."

Secular Humanism:
Shit evolves.

Darwinism:     
Survival of the shittiest.

Christian Science:
When shit happens, don't call a doctor-pray.

Atheism:       
I don't believe this shit.

Religion from an Atheist's point of view:
I haven't smelt, seen, touched, or tasted it. But it's shit.

Agnosticism:   
You can't prove any of this shit.

Rastafarianism:
Let´s smoke this shit!

Mormonism:     
If shit happens, shun it.

Energizer Bunny:
Shit happens and keeps going and going and going and...

Baptist:       
You are shitting all wrong, and you'll be punished for it.

Southern Baptist:
Shit will happen.  Praise the lord.

Iraqi Baathist:
Oh shit!

Voodoo:        
Shit doesn't just happen -- somebody dumped it on you.

Televangelism: 
Your tax-deductible donation could make this shit stop happening.

Unitarianism:  
It's not the shit that matters.  It's the process.

Orthodox:      
St. Sergius found his faith in deep shit.

Greek Orthodox:
Shit happens, usually in three's.

EST:           
I am at cause that shit will not happen.

Fundamentalism:
There's no shit in the Bible.

Twelve Step:   
Shit happens one day at a time.

Amish:         
This modern shit is worthless.

Shintoism:     
You inherit the shit of your ancestors.

Moonies:       
Only happy shit really happens.

Stoicism:      
This shit is good for me.

Zoroastrianism:
Shit happens half the time.

Bahaism:       
Why do you keep shitting on us?

Mysticism:     
This is really weird shit.

Paganism:      
Shit happens for a variety of reasons.

Rajhneesh:     
Give us your shit and put on this orange shit.

Rosicrucianism:
What is this AMORC shit?

Satanism:
Sneppah tihs.

Witchcraft:    
Mix this shit together and it will happen.

Scientology:
If you leave us, bad shit will happen to you.

Shamanism:     
Whoaa...Holy Shit!

Sikhism:       
Leave our shit alone

Sureshism:     
You are all pieces of shit.

Dianetics:     
"Why does shit happen?" (p. 157)